What takes a person to that level, the level not to care, have remorse or even concern for someone who will give everything for them? I know because I personally went through a shit load of crap in my life before I met the one person that I honestly thought did not exist. Caring, loving, and awesome people are out there. However because of so much hurt and damage we experience we tend to hide ourselves and shut down in fear of getting hurt all over again.
Let us get into reasons how this may come about or even begin to create or build.
“Family, like branches in a tree grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one. “ I read this one when looking into positive quotes. Many families can relate to this quote. However, growing up for everyone is obviously different. Being that times can change that, because of their environment, the experiences as we grow, family itself, and the ability to want something different. Some grow up with the affection of their parents some do not. Some people are raised with respect and some are not. Some are raised with luxury and some are not. But we all don’t carry that with us throughout our life span as things tend to change.
Some of us live a life that we do not wish to continue and choose to change. There are also others who think that the “tradition” on how they were raised should continue, whether it’s a positive or a negative one. And for some it is the only way they know, so therefore they bring up their own as they were brought up. We experience things that change our method of thinking, feeling, and seeing.
The value on how one is being raised means a lot and it is very important. We have people that turn out to be loving and caring with all their heart. We have those who love and be kind to people they feel should get it. And then there are those, who don’t love nor care for anyone at all, but themselves.
You can be the happiest and most loving human being, but if you encounter hatred and hurtful emotions, you can then feel and see love differently in any one you will meet thereafter. The trust, the value, the meaning overall will no longer have a meaning. It will be questioned.
What I can’t understand, is why? What does any careless person get out of being mean and selfish? Doesn’t the fact of losing great things and people in life even matters? Didn’t the feeling of getting mistreated, affect them and wanting better?
It takes more than patience to deal with a person who can be so harsh, mean, inconsiderate, disrespectful, and nasty, when all we do is love and try to understand them every possible way we can. We give everything and try our hardest in making things work because we love and we care. We commit ourselves to give the love we grew up with and share it, looking to expand that love with each other, trying build a better life for us as one.
The frustrating part is that us who actually loved and gave, develop a sense of neglect, fear of moving on, self-esteem, self-worth, and even value. Many of us build bitterness and build a wall in fear to face that same situation again. Overthinking becomes a part of us in everything we do because it’s hard to trust anyone, especially if it seems too good to be true. We look at every one
People with low empathy seem to have a difficult time understanding other people’s point of view and the fact that they are causing them pain whether it’s emotionally and mentally. However this is something that can be worked on in order for the relationship to work well. Now we have the people who do not like themselves and so project their frustration out on others making them feel as they feel, replicating their own experience on to others. These people need to get help for themselves! For we can point it out but it needs to be them to want to change. Low self-esteem is pretty much the same. They don’t value themselves, therefore they would not know how to value you and therefore you feel a rejection coming from them. This can also come from past experience.
Quickly choosing to blame someone else for how you feel is not a good nor a nice thing. People need to be more mature about situations and learn how to admit when they are wrong. Acknowledge their behavior and speak how they truly feel instead of leading a person to thinking they are the cause of their misery or problem. When in reality it is themselves who causes the feeling of being miserable. Making someone feel unworthy is hurtful and mean. If you yourself have been going through some self-esteem situation, making someone else feel bad because you are afraid to accept, is not good at all. You should try and speak up and say how you are feeling and why, because the cause of it may not be with the person you taking it out on. The people you are hurting can be the ones to help you see things more positive and feel like there is actually happiness in your life even if it’s not with them. Not everyone that is together is meant to be. However, that does not mean you must treat them in a disrespectful, hurtful and in bad way. People commit themselves to making the ones they love happy and taking that away or disgracing that can be a big fall for them and hard for them to overcome, and it is so unfair. So be mindful and considerate of your actions. Walk away if it comes to the point where you see yourself using hurtful words and/ or actions. Think through and with a clear mind talk it out and move on if it comes to that.
We have people that simply enjoy inflicting pain on others to distract themselves from their own pain. They may take out on you what others caused and would not bother in acknowledging that their pain has nothing to do with you. Instead they work on becoming the dominant one and see you weaken, making sure all happens in their favor. Especially if they know you easily hurt. You may think they love you but truth is they may have chosen you because they see you as someone who will be okay towards their behavior. This can become critical in a relationship because if matters turn physical, someone can really get hurt. Therefore considering to leave will be the best option.
Kind and loving people get taken advantage of, because people know that those who are kind and loving will not hurt them, will put up with any abuse they encounter and even continue to provide a great deal in the relationship. Loving people know the bad in their partners but don’t want to give up on them and commit themselves to making things right, trying to convince themselves that they can actually change the person from being so mean and careless. We make it our business to find out reasons to their bitterness. When in reality it is something that cannot be done unless that person choose or want to change.
We also have people that have an ego that will be hurtful to you just so they look “good” and are in control in front of their friends. They belittle you different ways in front of others and boss you around to seem they have the upper hand and make demands. This is to show they have power over the relationship, especially when they have friends who encourage them.
The most difficult part is when you have a mutual loving member that part takes in the relationship and therefore a much stronger commitment to making things work becomes a priority. Trying and trying to make it happen in this situation becomes so difficult that it wears one out in every possible way, while the meanest and most inconsiderate person pursues their life daily with ease. Decisions, agreements, and even acknowledging one another turns out to be the worst conversation any good hearted person can ever have. Giving up is out of the question due to not being the one where fingers get pointed to, but even that becomes an option when one cannot take any more heartaches. Once a person understands that it will not get any better, walking away and moving on will be the best choice anyone could have ever made and trust that no regrets will come out of that, none.
Being mentally and emotionally damaged is not easy to overcome, however it should not stop there. There is life and light, make it your business to find it and live it. Rebuild yourself and your happiness.